I was reached out by Jeff who put me in touch with someone at HP on their social media team. We had a couple of back and forth phone calls before a "deal" was made. I shipped my laptop back to HP yesterday and am waiting to hear if it's "fixable". If it is, or if it isn't I will still follow up in this thread with the details they presented to me.
I also had some phone rage as well when calling HP back. I had an extension and was still on hold for 1 hour and 32 minutes before they were able to connect my call. 1 HOUR and 32 MINUTES of the same horrible looping muzak. Having worked in a call center, that hold rate is something that would get someone fired, but seems to be the norm for HP support.
Call me ever the optimist, but I have a feeling I'll get a call from HP in the next couple of days saying that the unit was deemed "unfixable", which will not surprise me since this issue originally presented itself in 2011 and it's currently only being addressed now in 2014. I also agree that this is a bandage over a bullet wound. Even if the laptop is fixed back to working order, I have no faith that it will be a "permanent" fix as this is clearly a design flaw.
Now I just play the waiting game...